After Last Week’s Questions: I Have Good News

I concluded last week’s posts with this statement: I don’t get why we are so uncompassionate with ourselves. 

A few things I don’t get about the Christian subculture

I don’t get our infatuation with youth. Let me say, youth is awesome and I wish I were younger but stick with me here. Like you, I get industry magazines one which is specifically designed for those who plan religious gatherings and meetings. On it’s cover was, “Top 40 under 40.” 

Now maybe I reacted negatively because I’m quite few years north of 40 these days. Maybe I’m jealous because I never made anyone’s list like that. But I want to believe my visceral reaction came because this mostly Christian focused publication shouts, “We’ve bought into the same things everyone else has; new is better than old, shiny is better than worn, and the talent of youth is more valuable than the wisdom of the aged.” 

I look back at what I did by the time I was 40 and there are a couple things I’m very proud of. I planted a church with some wonderful people. It continues to impact a community that I love. I also did a pretty good job as a dad. I had two teenage boys and an 8 year old daughter by the time I was 40. But I also look back on those days and realize I didn’t know jack squat compared to what I know now. And the things I thought I knew…I’ve changed my position on most of them. Looking back, I didn’t belong on anyone’s list! 

I don’t get our fixation on the phrase, “The Word.” That can almost always be translated, “Bible.” Whenever I hear someone say that in an authoratative insider tone of voice, I want to ask, “Are you talking about the written words or the living Word that John talked about…you know the Word that was in the beginning, the Word that was with God and is God, the Word that became flesh and lived among humanity?” I don’t say that though because I was brought up to be polite and that would be nasty so I smile and nod.

I don’t get what people mean when they say, post, tweet, “I just want to see revival break out.” The statement comes with a lot of assumptions…like we all know what revival means and what it looks like and what will change if it comes. The more I hear it the less I get it. And the more it’s left to one sentence like that, the more confused I am. I’m not against revival (whatever we decide it is). It sounds really good, but on this Friday I need to confess something. In spite of going to revival services and even helping to plan semi-annual revivals (wow that sure seems weird to see that in print), I don’t really know what you’re talking about.  

If you’re still reading…and I hope you are…there is one more thing I don’t get. It is something I plan on writing about all next week.

I don’t get why we so uncompassionate with ourselves; the negative self talk, self hatred. A friend shared an old hymn with me a while back entitled, “There’s a Wideness in God’s Mercy,” by Frederick William Faber

Here is verse 1 and 11
1. There’s a wideness in God’s mercy,
Like the wideness of the sea;
There’s a kindness in His justice,
Which is more than liberty.

11. But we make His love too narrow
By false limits of our own;
And we magnify His strictness
With a zeal He will not own.

Have a great weekend

Born, Lived, Died, Raised, Returning

Maundy Thursday

Today is Maundy Thursday, the day on which Christians commemorate Christ’s Last Supper. But do you remember what happened before the meal? Jesus took off his outer garment, wrapped a towel around his waist, filled a basin with water and washed the disciples feet. Then when he was finished he said, “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:15)

I have had two experiences with foot washing. The first was when I was the wash-er. I was at a retreat with a group of high school students. At the conclusion of our last session I had them remove their shoes and socks and I washed their feet. I look back on that moment as one of the fondest times in youth ministry.

My other experience was much more difficult. I was the wash-ee. My friend Joel and I had met for lunch on Maundy Thursday. One of our topics of discussion was the foot washing service that would take place at his church that night. He was not looking forward to it. I tried to be encouraging but secretly was happier that it was him and not me. After lunch we went our separate ways. That evening I was sitting in our living room watching tv with my family. All of a sudden, Joel came through the front door came unannounced carrying a tub of water, soap and a towel. He didn’t greet anyone but rather went directly to me. As he knelt…putting his items on the floor…he said, “Jesus washed the feet of his friends and I want to wash your feet.”

We were all stunned. The tv was clicked off. My children watched this gift of love and friendship unfold. We all sat in a holy silence with the music of splashing water playing as a background score.

Jean Vanier, founder of the L’Arche Communities said, “To wash the feet of a brother or sister in Christ, to allow someone to wash our feet, is a sign that together we want to follow Jesus, to take the downward path, to find Jesus’ presence in the poor and the weak.”

When I think of Maundy Thursday that’s what I think of…a group of students who allowed me such a privilege and a good friend who showed me Jesus.

Not, Don’t, Won’t or Am, Do, Will

I was at a party the other night and I met some new people. The conversation started out well as one couple asked me about going back to school, the adjustments and eventually the degree I’m pursuing. The wife grew up in a very religious community full of churches, Christian colleges, and a couple seminaries which led to, “What kind of seminary is it?”

Because of what I assumed about the culture of her youth, I attempted to distinguish what George Fox was by describing what it was not. A few comments made sense but then I quickly and completely lost them. The glazed look followed by loss of eye contact was the sure sign. I don’t know why I did that but I know I’ll never do that again.

Articulating our beliefs by what we don’t believe, defining ourselves by who we aren’t, and explaining our mission by making clear what it isn’t – is a bad idea whether your motivation is to protect, include or win an argument.

• It is a bad strategy because its a conversation ender. If I met you and my entire tone highlighted what I’m against, why would you offer what you believe? Conversations are give and take, speaking and listening. Very few people would put their positions out there for fear of landing on my list and become someone else I don’t agree with. They may start to listen but soon they will withhold their opinions and be looking for an out.
• It is a poor testimony to our God and faith. Consistently speaking out of the negative makes me sound angry, cynical and judgmental. (BTW – Those are not fruits of the Spirit) Jesus engaged people with questions which opened them to hear what he had to offer: Life. Paul looked for common ground (Acts 17, 1 Cor. 9) in order to share the gospel = GOOD news.
• It is a weak stance because most people expect more from us. Most of my friends are not looking for more things to avoid. They are looking for a compelling reason to live. Jesus offers that and commissions us to be salt and light, mixing in adding flavor and illumination. If this Jesus we claim to follow is ‘all that’ our words and life should point to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self control.

I close with a few things I’m pondering this morning…

Do my neighbors and co-workers know more about what I stand for or what I stand against?

Would my friends describe me as someone is for something or against something?

Does my family know what/who we believe in or just what/who we don’t believe in?

p.s. Jesus used both negative and positive language. In Mark 10:45 he said, “[I] did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Maybe that’s a good ratio for us: 2/3’s of who we are to 1/3 who we aren’t.

PCP: Poland, Coffee and Purpose

I don’t usually post on Sunday but this morning I have some extra time. We have a special speaker in this weekend, a missionary from Poland. Outside the church world the idea of meeting a missionary may seem odd…like a bridge to a former time…a time of colonization, coercion and stripping people groups of their native culture. But these missionaries (and many others) are very different than that image.

These missionaries are connecting with people, and people with God, by starting coffee houses all over Poland. Last night they shared the story of their journey and showed us some photos and videos you can see on their web site. One was the night of a grand opening, a night they crammed 200 people in their 50 person shop. Their shops are gathering places for knitting groups, english classes, celebrations and education about coffee.

I left the gathering last night pensive. I thought back to the excitement of buying a coffee shop, relocating Rublev’s and dreaming of the possibilities. Then I’d flash forward to my current thoughts and feelings about the coffee shop. They are not as warm, idealistic or compelling. That saddened me.

We have a different ownership structure now. We have multiple voices shaping the culture. We have great people sharing the work load. Those are all good things. That’s why this morning I know I need to rediscover or redefine my role with Rublev’s. I still believe something happens when you hand someone a cup of coffee, sit across the table from them and share conversation. I still believe these are holy acts wired deeply and directly into the human heart. I still believe a cafe can be a sacred space where God moves and heals and connects and works. I still believe there is purpose for me in Flushing.

So………does anybody want to meet for coffee this week or discuss a book or have a Bible study or knit or talk about how in-over-our-head we are in ministry?

I know a great place.

Couldn’t decide on a title: Structure is Overrated or Wind Power

My son, Tyler, was sharing with me about an experience he had visiting a friend out west. He described the environment his friend lives in. He painted me a picture of the physical, relational and social space she shares with her neighbors. On the Sunday he was there, someone decided they should all have breakfast together. Some were cooking. Others were helping get things ready. A few pulled out their instruments and started playing music. “It was like a scene out of a movie,” he said.

Tyler is home this week. Last night we were revisiting that story. He said, “Dad, that is community. They all know they are part of something special and they want their group of friends to get as big as possible.” I said, “That sounds like a good church to me.” A natural pause came from our daydreaming and then the conversation went another direction.

Our discussion resurrected a question that I had buried in a box in my head a while back. Why is this type of organic activity rare or nonexistent in so many established churches?

• Is it because we try to organize – promote – control things that don’t really need to be organized, promoted and controlled?
• Are we side tracked by the childcare questions? Are kids welcome? Should we hire some teenagers to watch them?
• Have we forgotten how easy it is?
• Do we over-think community, the gospel, and real life to the point that we talk ourselves out of it before we pick up the phone?

Those of you who know me know I’m not a structure guy. The church I started both grew and was eventually hindered by my aversion to and lack of structure. And no matter how many times someone tells me how important structure is, I will innately push back on it.

If I remember correctly, Jesus compared life in the Spirit to a very unstructured reality: the wind. He said, “You know well enough how the wind blows this way and that. You hear it rustling through the trees, but you have no idea where it comes from or where it’s headed next. That’s the way it is with everyone “born from above’ by the wind of God, the Spirit of God.” The religious leader that Jesus was talking to, Nicodemus wasn’t  comfortable with this metaphor and I don’t think we are either.

What might happen if we stopped fighting the Wind? We try to control it, attempt to direct where it should blow and spend our energy trying to quantify & count the number of people we think are being moved by it.

Instead…what might happen if we focused on living in response to the Wind, learning to be propelled by it like a sailboat and lifted by it like a kite?

 

I think maybe we would find ourselves eating with, singing with and enjoying each other.

Can we pass a sign-up sheet around on that?

 

 

Life, Projects, Adventure

I read this on Donald Miller’s blog this week:

• “What if your own life was so engaging that entertainment seemed boring? I mean what if you were involved in projects that so captivated you that turning on the television would be a distraction from your real life? Can you imagine such a possibility?”

Writing books has been a long time dream for me. More specifically (and even more honestly) books that open doors to speaking engagements which in turn sell more books.

I know there are countless authors with more skill, intelligence and connections. I know there are over a million books submitted each year. I know it is very difficult to make a living as a writer. Yet in spite of those realities, the dream never goes away. In my nearly 49 years on earth I think I’ve only gotten a few peeks at that possibility becoming a reality. But this week it was like God started to pull back the curtains on an issue I am passionate about and bring focus to a project that moves me.

SABBATH.

I believe the need for a 24 hour period of rest is hard wired into us. It is not a Jewish thing. It is a human thing. No matter your faith, belief system or philosophy you were created in the image of a God who rested. “But I enjoy what I do.” I’m pretty sure God enjoyed creating – but He rested. “But things need to get done that only I can accomplish.” I’m pretty sure God was aware of the list of things only He could do – but He rested. “But I don’t have time to.” I’m pretty sure God established this unit of time to establish rhythm for our life.

This is not an appeal to attend church regularly. Nor is it an admonishment to carve out some ‘me time.’ This is about connecting with the Divine in a way that makes me; more human, more healthy, more fulfilled, more peaceful and more whole. This is about the observance and remembrance of Sabbath, which has been overlooked and forgotten for far too long.

So mark it down. Today, March 23 2011, you read my blog declaring I am captivated by such a notion and I give myself to this project. Ask me about it whenever you see me. Email me and hold me accountable. Pray for me when God brings me to mind.

St. Patrick Revisited: belong, become, believe

The bulk of this is my post from March 17, 2010

Today is St. Patrick’s Day, which is one of my favorite holidays. Not because of green beer or corned beef but because it celebrates one of my favorite characters from church history. Most people don’t know much about it beyond; you’d better wear green or you’ll get pinched and at some point we’ll see a clip of the Chicago River dyed green. I didn’t know much about it either until about ten years ago.

I had the opportunity to hear George Hunter III speak. Hunter had just written a book called, The Celtic Way of Evangelism: How Christianity Can Reach the West…Again. That day he unpacked the life of a boy named Maywin Socket. Kidnapped as child by pirates. Sold as a slave to a man where he watched livestock in the Irish fields for long periods at a time. He learned the language. Through something called natural revelation he grew close to God. After six years he had miraculous escape and returned to England.

Maywin went into the priesthood and his name was changed to Patrick. He felt compelled to return to Ireland. Unfortunately the church in Rome had determined the celtic tribes were barbaric and unreachable. How ironic – he was denied permission to go while the church was on the edge of collapse due to corruption. Patrick was undeterred. He was convinced that all that had happened in his life was preparation to take the good news of Jesus to Ireland. Eventually the leaders of the church consented and Patrick, accompanied about a dozen others, departed on their missionary journey.

When they landed they did not use the Roman way of evangelizing (provide people with information then give them a chance to respond and if they choose to believe then you welcome them in to your fellowship). Does that sound familiar? It should. It is the way many evangelicals are taught to “evangelize.” Believe > Become > Belong.

Patrick used a much more relational way. He and his group would find a village and ask for permission to set up their camp outside the village. They would then build relationships inviting the Celts to know them, eat with them, and participate in each other’s lives. Through the relationship they shared their faith in Jesus and helped those where receptive to understand intellectually what was going on in their hearts. He reversed the Roman way. Belong > Become > Believe.

In his lifetime, Ireland went from the most barbaric arm of the far reaching Roman church to the most Christian. All during some of the darkest days for the church back in Rome. God used Patrick’s mission and method to save Christianity in the west.

The church in the west is in trouble again. What do we do? How can the tide of our irrelevance and others’ disinterest? I believe it starts by our rejection of the Roman way and our embrace of Patrick’s way.

 

 

Who are you walking with? trustworthy peers, voracious readers, creative thinkers

Walking is one of my favorite metaphors and “Who are you walking with?” is one of my favorite questions.

Today at noon I will be at my preferred BBQ place with some men I walk with. They are two of my closest friends. We do this almost every week and have for quite some time. Last week Dave brought a notebook from a couple years ago and we scanned it for previous conversations. He quoted one brief exchange…

• Darrel: “Tell me if you think I’m full of crap.”
• David: “You’re full of crap.”

I could give you a laundry list of their qualities that enrich my life, but today I am thankful that I’m walking with men who are trustworthy peers, voracious readers, and creative thinkers.

Trustworthy Peers – I can be completely myself with these guys. There is no posturing or pecking order. We have walked through career changes, the transition to empty-nestedness, failures, triumphs, marriages and divorce. And because of that they have seen me at my best and heard me at my worst. I don’t know where I’d be without them.

• Are you walking with one or two safe people?

 

Voracious Readers – My friends are great story tellers, communicators and can paint vivid pictures with words because they read so much. Sometimes we read the same book and talk about it. Other times we share the books we love with each other. Our conversations never get stale because of our love of books (which one friend wrote about earlier this morning). I don’t know how anyone can lead, teach or preach without reading.

• Are you walking with others who read and inspire you to read?

 

Creative Thinkers – Good thinking comes from great questions. Our booth is a safe place to question systems, ourselves, each other, and status quo. We share our ideas. We air our doubts. I can’t imagine not having that sanctuary. I don’t know how you can do ministry without this kind of community.

• Are you walking with anyone who pushes you away from your intellectual default position?

 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” is not an exercise question – its a relational question. It is a question we should be hearing and asking. I’m glad we asked it and took the first step years ago.